USAIN BOLT and Other Athletes that Can Play Another Sport

Usain Bolt told the Olympic press in London that he would like a tryout with Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United


By Shivam Amin 

Usain Bolt made global headlines Sunday night with a breathtaking performance en route to gold in the 100 meters. However on Monday he shocked a gathering of media when he said that he would like a tryout with Manchester United of the English Premier League. At 6'5 with speed that is incomparable to anyone in the world it would be intriguing to see how Bolt would preform on the pitch. The thought of Bolt wearing a Man U kit got me to thinking about other athletes that could make the two sport transition a success.

THE STARS

LeBron James, Football

LeBron James tosses the pigskin at Cowboys Stadium

I would have shown LeBron in the Browns uniform from the State Farm commercial, but I am from Cleveland and that only makes me sad. I'm no hater, so you can see the youtube video here. This is probably the biggest no brainer out of any current athlete in the game right now. LBJ is built like a cyborg and he never gets hurt (don't let a fake elbow injury his last season in Cleveland fool you), so basically he is indestructible. Line him up at WR/TE and he would instantly become the best in the game. He is 6'8 260 lbs with the speed of a point guard in the NBA which would translate to the fastest TE and above average WR speed. Any jump ball in the endzone would result in a touchdown if you put it remotely close. If the NBA season last year would have been scrapped it would have been interesting to see if he would have actually came over to the NFL. In high school at St Vincent St Mary he was first team All-State (sophomore year) at WR which is unheard of especially in a football hotbed like Ohio. If you were to give LeBron some time to learn the ins and outs of volleyball there is no doubt in my mind he would be unstoppable in that as well, I only say this because the Olympics make you think "what if" when you watch an event. (NOTE: I think it is pretty evident that a number of NBA players can make the jump to the NFL, but I doubt that anyone would dominate the league the way LeBron would)



 Joe Mauer, Football

Hi I'm Joe Mauer

Following a loss to Oklahoma in the 2000 BCS National Title Game, spirits were still high in Tallahassee. Daggumit! Bobby Bowden reached the National Title Game two years in a row (beating Virginia Tech in 99') and they were the class of the ACC. But there was a kid in St. Paul who Bowden was ready to hand the quarterback reigns over to and his name was Joe Mauer. Mauer was from the same high school (Cretin-Derham Hall, a private high school in St. Paul, Minnesota) as Chris Weinke (Heisman winner and 1999 National Champion for the Florida State Seminoles) and the pipeline from Minnesota was set. (Check out Mauer's high school resume. You can see why he was the talk of the town) After his senior year in baseball it was rumored that Mauer could go as high as the number one pick in the MLB amateur draft. With his hometown Twins having the number one pick how could he turn down being the savior of the city at the age of 18? What happened next is history: Mauer chose to play baseball, went number one overall, three batting titles, three gold gloves, 2009 AL MVP, and multiple endorsements (Head & Shouders, Pepsi, Playstation 3, and ESPN to name a few.) I remember the whole Mauer saga as it was going on as a kid. I would think to myself who the hell would pass up being the QB at FSU to play baseball? Then the lucrative two hundred million deals started to be made in the MLB and I saw things more clearly. It is often said that the position of quarterback is the hardest position to play in sports, something I wholeheartedly agree with. I also think that Mauer could have done it based on his upbringing and already stellar professional career in the majors. He was not just the top high school baseball player in the country, but also the top football player and an elite basketball player too (All-State First Team his junior and senior season) at 6'5", 220 pounds, Mauer had a cannon arm and great mobility in the pocket (some nice throws from a young Mauer) He has the prototypical body to play QB in the NFL, tall, strong armed, and mobile. It would have been amazing to think what the NFL would look like today if Mauer would have been as good of a quarterback as he is a catcher.



THE OMISSION

Calvin Johnson, Basketball

Listen, I get it, 6'5 240 lbs, 4.33 40 yd dash, 10.23 100 yd dash, 11 foot broad jump, 43 inch vertical, yadda yadda yadda. That doesn't mean he can ball out in the NBA. There are so many other factors that come into play regarding the transition to the NBA:

Can he dribble
Can he shoot
Can he pass
Can he defendIn regards to his size and speed: there are physical freaks who flunk out of NBA 101 right away (see Jonathon Bender.) The transition from basketball to football is an easier leap to make compared to the transition of football to basketball. But could you imagine a volleyball team of LBJ and Megatron???


LEFTOVERS:

Tony Romo, Golf


The only reason people give a shit that he tries out for the US Open every year is due to the fact he is the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. End of story.

Carl Crawford, Football

Had a scholarship to play QB at Nebraska, would have loved to see him run the option.



If you like this article follow Shiv's antics on twitter @SugarShiv

The Human Rights Movement: a short commentary on Gay Marriage

Derek West
Head Writer


"They shouldn't have that right. They're not even real people!"

In 1955 that was a socially acceptable phrase and attitude towards African Americans. We weren't real people. We didn't deserve the same rights and liberties as white Americans. Why? Because our ancestors were slaves. Terribly interesting how the same people who made America the greatest country in the world by building it for free, couldn't even vote for the people who ran said country.

"They're not as smart as us, they can't do the things we do, they shouldn't be treated as equals"

In 1915 that was the general attitude and a socially acceptable thought towards women. They raised children, kept a household, and held the American family together, but had no say in the matters that effected the American family.

"Why should they be allowed to marry? It destroys the sanctity of the institution of marriage! "

This is an attitude and opinion a colleague of mine recently took during a debate about gay marriage he and I had. Do you know what these three phrases and opinions have in common?

They're all bullshit.

Make no mistake my friends gay rights IS the new civil rights movement. There's no way around that. And let me be clear, in a country where there is a 50% divorce rate, the "sanctity of marriage" is already a joke and has been for a long time. Any ban on gay marriage is a clear violation of human rights. Period.

The fact of the matter is that if there is any decency or fairness in this country, eventually our musical theater loving counterparts will indeed have the right to get married. For no other reason than it is the right thing to do. It doesn't effect anyone else. The same way rednecks avoid everyone who is different already will not change. Nothing will, the world will keep turning. No one will turn to ash, the country will no implode.

These people get up everyday, they take showers, they brush their teeth, they get dressed, they have breakfast, they get in their cars, and they go to work. And do you know what happens then? I'll tell you; they pay taxes and contribute as much to society as all the rest of us half divorcing slobs. And if this was my only valid point I'd be comfortable resting my case. This is more than just a civil rights issue, this my friends is a human rights issue.

The government already forces and imposes itself in almost ever facet of our lives. THIS IS NOT A GOVERNMENT ISSUE. As far as I can tell the government has much larger problems on the horizon so much so that the last thing they should be worried about is dictating who can and can't get married. If Joe Doughnut from down the block wants to marry his goat, who gives a shit? Does it really effect you? Does it really make a difference? If two meth addicts want to go to Vegas and get married no one will tell them they can't, therefore no one should be able to tell Leon ad Stevie or Janice and Marie shouldn't have that same opportunity.

And for all the religious zealots, right wing nutjobs, and backwards hillbillies who call the people fighting for their basic human rights sick, I give you this simple piece of advice on the matter: Go find something to do! The general opinion is not your opinion and quite honestly no ones gives a shit what you think.

I'm not saying I agree or disagree. I'm not saying its right or it's wrong. I'm not naive enough to try and make that call. All I'm saying is what most of us are thinking which is its not our business or place to call it. We're too busy being enthralled in reality television shows about pregnant teenagers, celebrity drug problems, and talents shows to care anyway. Just in case you missed it allow me to repeat: we watch shows about pregnant teenagers...who are the sick ones in the equation?

Hip-Hop Exhibiting Punk Characteristics: What Does it Mean?

“There has always been this rebellious connection between hip-hop and punk music,” once said iconic hip-hop pioneer Fab Five Freddy, in an interview with radio host Davey-D, back in 2010. It’s true–nestled in the downtrodden streets of a 1980s Manhattan, a new relationship between two of music’s most unlikeliest candidates, began to develop.

Fast-forward to the alternative hip-hop movement of today, and you’ll see that the scene does exhibit many of punk’s characteristics. I would argue that there are two specific ones they have fully committed themselves to: Do-it-yourself (DIY) and attitude. These two components have seeped their way into present-day alternative hip-hop, providing a new generation with something that is fresh and relatable.

DIY

As a subculture, DIY has been said to have begun with the punk movement of the 1970s. From recording, manufacturing albums and merchandise, to booking tours, the bands themselves would take up multiple jobs that were known to be music label responsibilities.

“I knew how to set up a business,” said Black Flag guitarist Greg Ginn, in an article for L.A. Weekly, back in 2001. “So, I decided to release [Black Flag's Nervous Breakdown EP] myself.” Along with putting out their own releases and booking their own tours, they would create their own publicity, spray-painting their “four bars” emblem throughout southern California.

Sacramento alternative hip-hop trio Death Grips is a DIY machine. They self-released their mixtape debut,Exmilitary, last year, and regardless of recently being signed to Epic Records, the trio still makes their own music and videos. Take music video “Get Got” for example. Being their priciest music video to date ($20 because of the police sirens) “Get Got” is like that of The Blair Witch Project–eerie, bizarre but undeniably enthralling, keeping viewers glued to their computer screens. “There isn’t an ideal scenario in the way we work, because the things we imagine in our minds aren’t accessible and within our budget,” said Death Grips drummer Zach Hill in an interview with MTV Hive. “So we’re forced to work with whatever’s available to us because of those limitations.”

Attitude

As legendary hardcore punk group Bad Brains once said, “Don’t care what they may say / We got that attitude.” American punk music was born out three things: The Vietnam War, the death of disco and its drug/club culture and a worldwide recession. Punk rockers did not care about being on the party scene, or making a big hit. They just wanted to take out their frustration in the best possible way. Documentaries like 2006′s American Hardcore is proof of that. Teenagers moshing, and reciting chants screamed from the band’s vocalist; this is punk–the lost looking for salvation from the man onstage.

“We [Odd Future] just don’t give a fu**,” said Tyler, the Creator in an interview with blogger Casen Kreation, back in 2009. “We do what we want, we make what we listen to.” Teenagers appreciate Odd Future, and their message; whether intentional or not, the group is apathetic to fan’s feelings. This is why you see sold-out crowds chanting the words to Tyler’s “Radicals,” in verbatim. They relate to when the frontman says, “Stand for what the fu** you believe in,” and “Do what the fu** you want.” It’s straight-to-the-point–no hidden messages, just a clear and definitive statement that resonates with disgruntled youth.

What Does it All Mean?
What the connection between alternative hip-hop and punk indicates, is that this generation wants something new, and that they can relate to. Luxury is scant; not everyone can brag about their all-tinted Escalade, or popping bottles in the VIP section.

What they can relate to are feelings of alienation or frustration, and trying to remain optimistic in light of it all. Because of everyday challenges, and the uncertainty of financial stability and government assistance, people have become impassive. They need something to rekindle their flame, and help push them through hard, economic times. This is where alternative hip-hop comes into play.



Bay Area’s Lil B preaching words of wisdom to those that are “Based;” A$AP Rocky’s motto being to “Always strive and prosper;” Kendrick Lamar’s quest for self-enlightenment; and Danny Brown’s asymmetrical hair and missing tooth serving as symbols for individuality and being who you are. Like their punk counterparts, these artists use their talents and beliefs to simultaneously influence others, and create their own success, by their own means.


Sure, not everyone is moving to the beat of alternative hip-hop’s drum, but a good amount of young and pissed-off individuals are. It’s an indicator that the genre has the potential to be influential like punk, reminding listeners that no matter how tough it gets, as long as you have a dream, believe in it and are willing to work to achieve it, anything is possible. The answer is simple: “Do what the fu** makes you happy.”

s/o 2 Elijah Watson & HB

30 Is Not In Fact The New 20

D.West
Head Writer


"30's the new 20 nigga, I'm so hot still" - Jay-Z

That's a half true statement. It's 2012, and Hov is still atop the charts, making great classic music, however 30 is not in fact the new 20. It's the exact same 30 it's always been. This past month I turned 28, and as I inch ever closer to the big three zero I find myself coming to grips with this realization.

When I was 20 I was in college,  drinking literally every night, smoking much weed as possible, and living as though I had no tomorrow. If I got fired from a job, I found a new one. If I broke a bone it healed in what seemed to be two weeks, and I had no semblance of an actual emotional relationship.

family man..?!

Fast forward 8 years. When I get drunk now my body makes me pay for it for 3 days afterwards. If I even smell weed in a public place I bitch about how someone could be so irresponsible as to smoke weed where children could be present. I worry about my families future. I'm terrified at the prospect of losing my job. If I break a bone the shit stays broken. I'm a father,  and I have been married for the past two years to the same woman I've been with for the past six. This is what 30 looks like
--to me at least.



I'm not sure if the terms creation sits squarely on the shoulders of Jay-Z or not. Research into the terms origin only turned up the lyrics to his song "30 Something" though I'm pretty sure I'd heard the term used before I'd heard that song. My guess would be that generations previous to ours had a tendency to do things earlier. They got into the workforce earlier, they got married earlier, and they had stable lives much earlier.

shit was hot back in the day...
 not if you're still wearing it though

These days you're lucky to find many people who are closing in on 30 actually acting as though they're closing in on 30. The statement "30s the new 20" is just a way for people who are almost 30 to justify acting and doing things they way they did when they were 20 and feeling ok with it.

blame mtv!

Really look at our culture. Look at your friends. Do they dress how they did in college? Listen to the same music? Go to the same bars? Live by the same rules and standards? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, in my opinion something's wrong. Look there's nothing wrong with breaking out the cargo shorts on the weekend. And far be it from me to tell you to not dust off that "Country Grammar" album on a nice spring day. But when you're making a habit out of being the same person you were ten years ago, that's a problem. At 20 would you feel comfortable acting 10? Would you feel cool      saying "20s the new 10 dogg!" No. No you would not.

Life is about two things: Relationships, and growth. And you can't have one without the other--well, allow me to rephrase-- you can't have a successful relationship without growth. The person you are when you're 20 should not be who you are at 25, nor should the person you are at 25 be the same as the person you are at 30. And that's just natural progression. At 30 you should simply want more for yourself than the same shit hole bar you've been going to for 5 years. Or the same petty drama and problems you were dealing with when you were young. To me that only makes sense.

90's the new 15 NIGGA!

If 30 is the new 20, then where does it stop? Does that make 50 the new 40? And in turn does that make 70 the new 60? Oh and watch out! Because word on the street is 90s the new 80! Seems ridiculous I know, but it's not any more ridiculous than people in their 30s or on their way, desperately trying to hold onto their 20s because they're afraid to move on and quite simply have nothing to move on to because they've wasted their ENTIRE 20s doing the things that most of us only spend the first half of our 20s doing.









So when your 30th birthday comes around, do yourself a favor and cancel the keg. Hold off on heading out to the club. And for god sake stay away from that hole in the wall bar you and your college roommate loved so much. In short be 30! Grow up! Going out and getting "shitfaced" on your birthday is kids stuff. And deep down inside even you know it.



 Leave the kids stuff to the children you're not taking care of...But that of course is an entirely different article...


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THE STREET EVOL IS STREET LOVE

IN STEREO(TYPE) WHERE AVAILABLE

Head Writer

Derek West

I like stereotypes. Most people do. Most people however won’t readily admit that they do like I just did. But I like stereotypes. I enjoy them. Now why I like them is what confuses me. It’s half because most of them are so ignorant that I find them hilarious. The other half is that I find it even more hilarious when they turn out to be true. Everyone knows stereotypes are funny. That’s why so many characters in the movies and TV shows we watch are stereotypical. Stereotypes = ratings & ticket sales. From the stereotypical white people in all those movies about holidays (last year’s “Valentine's Day” and this year’s “New Year’s Eve”) to pretty much everything that Tyler Perry has ever done. People like stereotypes. We live by them. We make our life rules based around them. We use them to entertain ourselves, and each other. We raise our children to base their lives around them. We can’t help it. It’s in our nature.

When I was in high school, I wrote, a lot. I wrote everything. I wrote poetry, I wrote raps, I even wrote a movie. Well once a good friend of mine (who will remain nameless) and myself wrote a series of skits and sketches. One was about an invisible Barbie doll. One was about a method of contraception that involved your penis possibly falling off. And one was titled “The Adventures of The Stereotypical Black Guy.” It was about a guy name Leroy who wore oversized Timberland boots, baggy jeans, a FUBU jersey, (It was the late nineties) had cornrows, owned a cell phone AND pager, and drove a busted, broken down car with nice rims and a good system. He would routinely do the “cabbage patch” when something good happened to him, he would say “DAMN!” every time something bad happened to him, and his favorite food was fried chicken. Now in hindsight this sketch was probably not only stereotypical but flat out racist, however I’m highlighting the fact that even young, and even being black, I was raised to find humor in stereotypes.

I don’t think anyone should take offense to stereotypes. They’re just as much a part of our culture in America as anything else is. I especially don’t think people should take offense when the stereotypes are true. We know all white people don’t dance with their thumbs up and while they bite their bottom lip. But let’s face it some of you do. We know not all black people can hoop. But some of you can. I’m simply saying that we shouldn’t be so quick to jump of the defensive based around silly preconceived ideas we have about one another. Do you really have the audacity to get mad over a stereotype if it’s true?

“He just assumed I smoked Newport’s because I’m black!” “Well what kind do you smoke?” “Well…Newport’s…but he shouldn’t have just assumed it!”

Do you see how silly that is? Bro either switch to Marlboro Smooth’s, or stop complaining. Everyone knows black people smoke Newport’s. That’s not to say that other races DON’T smoke them. But black people are MOST associated with them.

lol

Some Asians are smart as hell, and I’ve met more than one that was dumb as a pile of logs. Some Jewish people enjoy saving their money, and I’ve partied with more than one Jewish person that loved to ball out. Some old people smell like Icy-Hot and mothballs, and some smell like…well they all smell like Icy-Hot and mothballs. My point is no one has to be a stereotype; we can all be who we want to be. If people want to judge us based on who they think we are, then it’s their loss because they’re missing out on who we really are. And that’s ok. It doesn’t make SOME stereotypes any more or less true. Hell you can even be a stereotype in some areas, and not one in others. Who cares? As long as you’re you, that’s all that matters.

Because at the end of the day, do you know what a stereotype is? It’s an empty opinion based on little to no fact. So why sweat them?

Sigh ..how we love shows pretty white kids
with problems

So when the next movie based around and obscure holiday comes out, Like “Arbor Day” or “Earth Day” you take your loud black ass, and your trapper hatted Russian girlfriend to the theater in your police auction bought Crown Victoria with the fly rims to see it. Or when the next time Tyler Perry decides to set black people back another 20 years, you take your awkward goofy white ass, and your aqua netted hair having, fishnet stocking, cake layer makeup wearing Italian lover with you. And be proud of who you are. Stereotype or not. But make sure you stop and see your mean, old, bitter, denture wearing, Geritol smelling, liver spotted grandma at the home she’s in too. If you don’t she might have to tell your penny pinching, Jewish dad all about it. And you really don’t want him to relay it to your overbearing, judgmental, fish catching, igloo building Eskimo mother. Or worse your cowboy scalping, rain dancing, feather wearing Native American Uncle. Because he can’t keep a secret, so he’ll of course tell your software programming, in bound call taking Indian cousin, who will have to call your lisp having, jazz hand displaying, disco dancing gay brother. And once he finds out…it’s all bad…

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THE STREET EVOL IS STREET LOVE

DEATH OF THE WORD "BALLIN"

Head Writer


Derek Alan West



Welcome back, this week we're finishing up our Misused/Overused slang series with a word that could have been buried somewhere with jimmy Hoffa circa 2008..."Ballin". It's not so much that I don't care for the word, as much so that I feel it should only be reserved for the times when you are in fact Ballin'.





look at his concentration.....amazing



I place the blame for the words surge in popularity solely on the shoulders of Jim Jones. The word had of course been around before his 2006 mega hit "We Fly High (Ballin)" from his album Hustlers P.O.M.E. but it was after that when we started to see parents, children, grandmothers, and even WWE wrestlers not only use the word in everyday life, but also the "hooping" gesture.

The origin of the word obviously comes from the sport of basketball and is used to imply a vast amount of wealth. Like that of what an NBA player would receive from his players contract, endorsements, etc. the issue here arises when the word is applied to situations that are not Ballin'.....at all.



"I was at the club last night son! Ballin out of control! It was $2.00 shots and $1.00 bottlenecks kid! Balllliiiiiinnnn! *makes hooping gesture*



got the new stunna shades on kid....uh oh.. "BALLIN!!!"



No, that's not Ballin. That's drink specials at the club to get people through the door. Youre not Ballin because you managed to drink a little more for a little less cash. The whole idea behind Ballin is to not even be worried about the cash you're blowing. So by definition you're the opposite of Ballin because you waited until discount night to hit the town.



Now some would argue that Ballin is relative. What may be Ballin to one person might not necessarily be Ballin to another. For instance if you work a 9 to 5 type job, bringing in let's say $400 a week, then maybe to you, blowing $200 on a night out is what you would call Ballin, and in that instance, I'd say...no. You're wrong. You can't be Ballin on a budget. You simply either are, or you aren't. And let's be real, the majority of us are not.

The one thing I will say about it is that it's a nice dream. It's something to aspire to I suppose. To not have to worry about money. To go out and blow an insane amount of cash on a good time with your homies. We're all in love with the same idea for better or worse. My point is don't make the mistake of projecting yourself to be something you're not. There are people Ballin in the world, ballers. Professional athletes. Rappers. Celebrities. But we can't all be those people. Sometimes it's just best that we be ourselves.



see this counts.... halfway



So the next time you're at the strip club with that $100 worth of ones in your left pocket, and your $40 worth of drink money in your right one, do yourself a favor, and do jot scream out "BALLLLLIIIINNNNN" because you're not. Youre just some dude in a strip club with $140 and light hatred of women you'll never be able to afford.

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STREET EVOL IS STREET LOVE

ARE YOU A HATER??

HATERS
By: Derek Alan West
Head Writer

This week my assault on over used or mis used slang terms continues with one of the by far most over used words ever...hater.

Old School Haters!!

"Man, I asked her out and she said she doesn't date losers...she's just a hater..."

No, she's not a hater...she doesn't want to date you because you're 27, you live with your mom, you work at Speedway, and your hobbies are play station, weed, and internet pornography. In summation, by definition, you're a loser. She just called you on it. The funniest part about when someone calls someone else a hater, the person being called a hater is usually telling the truth, and in turn get labeled as being a hater for doing so.





"My professor gave me another D. Damn that dude is such a hater..."





Wrong again Cheech. You got a D because you opted to go get drunk 6 nights out of the week, rather than just study for a few hours and get your head right. Your professor is not a hater. Even if he wanted to hate on you, trust me he doesn't have the time. It also doesn't help that your hobbies include play station, weed, and Internet pornography. Are we noticing a trend here?

umm....Really?? smh

Google doesn't have a definition for the word hater, and I don't count the Urban Dictionary as a credible source so the following is my definition of the word hater:

Hater - (hay-tur) noun.

Someone who dislikes something about someone else.

So by my definition we are all or we have all been haters at some point or another during our lives. Hell I've apparently been a hater since kindergarten when Tommy Flanagan managed to get the ghostbusters firehouse play set before me. My point is we can't deem everyone a hater because we don't like something they do or say.





The only thing worse then people who call others haters, are the people who claim to have haters. I won't say names, but I recently saw a friend of mine on Facebook use the following as her status: "I love my haters"

Really? You're a dental hygienist from central Ohio who works and lives in Pittsburgh...who is hating on you? Really?





Look I get that everyone has little quirks that bother us. Shit sometimes the quirks downright piss us off. But the term hater has become so over used and out of control that it's hard to define anyone as anything but.




apparently I was told this was my favorite drink...






I'll go ahead and say it...I'm hating on haters.





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hater!

THE STREET EVOL IS STREET HATE LOVE

Are High School Reunions REALLY that Cool??

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