Email Exchange – MTV The Challenge: Rivals 2 – Episode 4

“I am like the Great Gatsby“

There are few things in life that will bring Shivam Amin (@SugarShiv) and Dante DiNardo (@DanteDiNardo) to debate: sports, fantasy sports, girls, movies and of course MTV Real World/Road Rules the Challenge. This season the Challenge is back, with the show’s latest installment, Rivals 2.

via mtv.com

The premise of the show is simple: past cast members are paired with their fiercest rival from previous seasons in a game of various challenges and obstacles for a cash prize in the end. 

Shivam

Dante

The following are REAL emails shared between Shivam & Dante.

DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by occasional crude language I suggest you stop reading now. Also it must be noted that nobody is racist or prejudice to any certain groups of people.

Terms, abbreviations, etc may be used that the general public may not know can be found in the glossary at the bottom of the page. If you see something and don’t know what it means, go to the bottom and get hip to the lingo.

Strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride.



Shiv

Last night had a lot of twists from my previous predisposed feelings on the show, no I did not start liking Jasmine’s hair, I am talking about some other stuff. First off why doesn’t Diem just own the short hair look? This isn’t fucking breaking news to us, we were introduced to her as a surviving cancer patient. We have seen her short hair numerous times on these shows, I don’t understand how this is still an issue. CT is Diem’s kryptonite and as much as people might hate on him for hooking up with other chicks and eating people after he beats them up, he is super nice to her. He even said in last night’s show that she should keep her hair short.

These two are like the Barack and Michelle of dysfunctional television

Speaking of hair, Jasmine thinks she’s rocking that look, some may even go as far as saying that she is owning that look. If she is owning anything it is that she is a real life troll doll. She has gone off of her rocker, that shit is so flagrant on so many levels.

I know you are going to try to clown me on this next statement, but Jemmye was looking fine AF last night man. That body was looking serioussssss. When she isn’t trashed and/or crying/yelling at Knight she looks normal. It is only in those instances when she is in pure rage, does her face contort into demonic forms with mascara streaming down her face. Leroy knows what’s up, he was about to hook up with her, but it looks like he took his talents to Theresa’s South Beach instead. Leroy might be the coolest guy to hang out with on these shows, he is just a normal dude. Speaking of dudes, Knight takes the MVP honors of last night for his 5 minutes of on screen coverage last night. Even though they finished last in the challenge itself (it is not fair that he has to pair with a guy like Preston, who brings nothing to the table in terms of physical attributes (side note I have an idea for the next season that I will harp on later)) but he poured ketchup on Jemmye. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. JEMMYE HAS A KETCHUP PHOBIA AND HE KNOWS IT. Hence the episode being named Mortuusequusphobia aka the fear of ketchup. I will let you ride on that.

If I told you that the girl in the back was bottomless and the girl and guy were fighting because the guy put ketchup on her and she has a fear of ketchup so she hit him would you believe me? No?! If I said it was the Challenge though? Then OF COURSE!!

Dante

Sometimes I think if Diem wasn’t a double cancer survivor, she’d be one of my least favorite cast members.  She can have CT whenever she wants, and instead chooses to be on some jealous shit.  We saw the worst of her on this episode, writing a hate rap on Nany, and then not only denying it to her face, but also in the confessional interview. What’s the point of that? Shes a professional liar, dude.  She couldn’t even be straight with a camera and some MTV producer.  And the hair thing just adds to her weirdness.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say I understand the psyche of a double cancer survivor, but its obvious to everybody but her that she’s past the weird, patchy, chemo hair stage, and should just be rocking that short hair look.

I used to think Jemmye was hot when she wore nothing but Knight’s bed sheet for most of that season of The Real World, but lately her white trash make-up and ghetto mannerisms have me thinking she’s ratchet.  Maybe I’ve just seen the Jemmye Monster come out too many times.  It scared the fuck out of Leroy.  No hesitation to move on to the back up plan Theresa.

In the words of TJ, Knight is on the list of people Dante really isn’t feeling at the moment.

I’m so tired of Knight.   Preston’s a bitch, don’t get me wrong.  But I still hated his scumbag moves in the challenge (went in saying he wanted Preston to run this challenge, then throws him under the bus immediately after). Later in the episode, and not for the first time this season, we see this dude ruin a good moment.  One of the finest girls in the house is walking around with nothing but TV blur over her genitals, and he has to slap her ass right in front of his ex. Within seconds Jemmye was assaulting him, and Cooke’s shorts were back on.  Side note: Do you think she had super tiny underwear on, or was she naked down there? I say naked.  They were blurring that shit from the back, and the front.

Wes and CT need to bury their beef.  We expected them to dominate, and we haven’t seen it yet. I don’t know if their going to ever be able to get along.  What did I tell you about Jordan and Marlon?  They are quickly rising to the top, and Jordan just locked up that Jonna/Nany vote at the club this week.

Shiv

You have to think with the amount of booze, no television, and extreme heat to go along with being single in the jungles of Thailand, every night would be like Hedonism. And for sure Cooke was naked. These people bang in front of each other I would have to imagine. That had the makings of an orgy if it wasn’t for Ketchup-Gate. Might I add that Cooke had NRFHL walking around like that, I was speechless and in awe of her disregard.



Marlon and Jordan are definitely a force to be reckoned with this season. Marlon is an ex D1 linebacker at Texas Tech, which is pretty impressive in itself. Jordan is an anomaly though with that club hand, I don’t know how he does it. He is also bedding Jonna now, even after this exchange:

“I am like the Great Gatsby” – Jordan
” What the fuck does that mean?” – Jonna
“I’m mysterious” – Jordan



Poor Sarah lol. These people have no shame at all, jumping dick to dick. I am surprised Thor hasn’t even talked about his hook ups with Jonna from last season. It hasn’t even been alluded to at all. Side Note: Why is Thor only shown working out now? I think there were like three different times last episode where he was working out.

I think Wes and CT are fine in the whole scheme of things, but the thing that could fuck them over is something you mentioned earlier, that being Diem. She is an idiot for making a rap. She is an even bigger clown for making a diss track and then reneging that she made the diss track. Who makes a diss track and then goes back on it? The Wes/CT alliance needs Cooke and Cara Maria gone and as long as Emily is around that should be easily managed. She wins everything.

What are your thoughts on the next season of the Challenge pairing strong players with weak players to even out the playing field. So this season we could have seen something like Preston and Johnny or CT and Emily and Anastasia as a team. They need to do this, it could be interesting. I need to get in touch with someone at Bunim Murray!


Dante

I saw Thor on some weak ass youtube interview laughing with CT, Leroy, and Knight about all of his ex’s from the show.  He laughed and said, “my lineup is legit.”  Dude’s life is all about lifting weights, and crushing ass.  I can’t hate on that.  Maybe the show’s producers are only showing one side of him, but I think its more likely that he really does lift every time they have downtime, especially after a less physical challenge like this week’s.

 

Your idea for next season would only work if they somehow signed up a hall of shame list of past challengers.  The worst performers of all time paired with psychotic win at all cost type champions like Frank or Zach would be interesting.  I think its more likely that the show’s producers will continue to consider ability into their teams, but not frame a whole season around it.  Even this season,they seemed to mostly pair a physically big challenger with a small one (CT/Wes, Zach/Trey, Emily/Paula, Cooke/Naomi, etc.)  Battle of the Exes is still the best format, but it might take a few more seasons worth of hookups until they can do that one again. Leroy is professional comedian level funny.  That shit at the counter with Ty had me laughing off of my couch.  If Tech Money parlayed this show into a spot in Van Wilder, how has this guy not done something similar?

 

I’m surprised you haven’t brought up the fake elimination, and your boy TJ getting a stadium style ”wave” in his honor from everyone but the bitter girls that were about to get voted in. TJ walked up like he didn’t even notice the wave, but then still called those two sulking hoes out for not joining in.  Classic Teej.

Shiv

Lee has parlayed his likability from his past seasons into a job in Vegas throwing parties. In the words of TJ, he is definitely killing it.



*** By seasons end I will provide his business card or e card some how***

I like when people break down the imaginary wall of not looking into the camera and get away with it. TJ did it during the Anastasia debacle and Leroy did it last night. It is classic television.
The fake swagger that Jaz walks around with is really pissing me off, I don’t know why, but it just does. I know that she has crumbled in past challenges and she acts like she has done something to merit her big talk. All I know is that she dogs Tyree, but she also had sex with him. You can’t dog someone after that, you share a bond whether you hate that person or not. When it comes down to love that is a different thing, but in reality tv where everything is basically a numbers game and popularity contest, Tyree still holds the trump card of “I had sex with you, shut up.” That sounds chauvinistic, but it is what it is.


Dante

Jasmine acts so hard, its pure false bravado.  Small chick trying to scare people by acting crazy, and smashing mirrors. I can’t wait for her to go home.

 

That’s all I’ve got for this week.  Guy’s elimination next week.  I don’t know how long Knight can stay on this show.   He is the biggest asshole in the house, and the weakest competitor. We’ll see if he and Preston can find a way to stick around on the next edition of this show.

 

 

 

Glossary of Terms:
GOAT – Greatest of all time
NRFHL – No Regard for Human Life
NRFHOL – No Regard for His/Her Own Life
Killed It – This is TJ Lavin (the hosts) favorite saying. If he says it, that means you either did really good in a competition (probably winning it) or an elimination challenge (ditto)
All photos courtesty of MTV.com and vemo.com. Thanks for the help.