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Friday, August 9, 2013

Email Exchange – MTV The Challenge: Rivals 2 – Episode 5

There are few things in life that will bring Shivam Amin (@SugarShiv) and Dante DiNardo (@DanteDiNardo) to debate: sports, fantasy sports, girls, movies and of course – MTV Real World/Road Rules the Challenge. This season the Challenge is back, with the show’s latest installment, Rivals 2.


via mtv.com

The premise of the show is simple: past cast members are paired with their fiercest rival from previous seasons in a game of various challenges and obstacles for a cash prize in the end. 

The following are REAL emails shared between Shivam & Dante.

Shivam & Dante

       Shivam & Dante

DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by occasional crude language I suggest you stop reading now. Also it must be noted that Shivam, Dante nor dhosmer.com are racist or prejudice towards any certain groups of people.  Except Riley Cooper.

Terms, abbreviations, etc may be used that the general public may not know can be found in the glossary at the bottom of the page. If you see something and don’t know what it means, go to the bottom and get hip to the lingo.

Strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride.

ShivamShiv

Dante I need to control myself from talking about Zach’s epic let me repeat EPPPPPPPPPIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC performance post  Jungle until later, but wowowow. That was amazing. Let me start with his meltdown at the beginning of the show. As we have spoke about before, there is nothing to do in the house when there isn’t a challenge,  Jungle, or club time. When he went insane on the camera crew and production because of a “tummy ache” the rest of the house was awarded with the pleasure of watching this meltdown.

Zach was very anti-Thor to start the episode this week

Of course Knight was there to console him, if you consider giving him things to break as consoling him. Knight is funny man, I don’t care what you say. He’s such a frat bro and it’s awesome to watch him do something stupid each episode. Frank was not happy with Zach’s tirade as evident with the after show. Side note, why do Frank and Zach act like an old bickering couple that has been together for years? Frank was about to cry about what transpired and Zach was refuting everything like it was alright. Johnny Mosley was probing them with questions over and over. Johnny Mosley is the man.

Dante Dante

ROID RAAAAAAGE!  Wow.  That is the only explanation I can come up with for Zach’s meltdown.  Going off on the production crew made no sense.  I just became an uncle, and I have a stomach ache, so FUCCCCKKKKK THIS. Zach, your main souce of income from the last five years is from filming reality television, now all of a sudden you don’t want to be filmed? I understand when a mid-detox tweeker on Celebrity Rehab flips on the cameramen, but he’s on an exotic island where he gets to play games for a living while being surrounded by beautiful women looking for no strings attached fun.  He had to be juiced out of his mind, unlike Wes. #112lbs.  That after show was entertaining.   Johnny brought the heat with that line of questioning.  Besides Frank’s emotional therapy session, and Zach’s cocky denials, there was so much Wes-Leroy beef.  It was good enough that Johnny called out Theresa on being second choice to Jemmye.  But to then have Wes come out and put Leroy on blast about it made the drama meter on that stage go through the roof. That after show just served up three teams for Rivals III: Frank/Zach, Wes/Leroy, and don’t forget about Theresa/Jemmye.  I have a feeling Jemmye isn’t going to appreciate being called crusty on national television.

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Funnier frat boy: Knight or Johnny Bananas?  I’d also like to hear your thoughts on the classic Johnny screw job that sparked this Frank and Zach feud.

ShivamShiv

Dry snitching made an appearance on the after show compliments of Wes. What is dry snitching you ask? It is the act of snitching with the sole purpose of telling someone something that shouldn’t be spoken out loud but doing it unknowingly. Wes told a story that Lee told him in confidence about wanting to hook up with Theresa. It was a real dick move considering he was on national television and because he was sitting with Theresa and Leroy on the couch. Lee had the most disgusted look on his face when Wes told the story and told him that he was a hater for even bringing that up. Wes laughed like he did nothing wrong, but he def broke bro code. Real fuckboy move if you ask me and I am a Wes fan. I agree 100% with you about three new teams for Rivals 3, the script wrote itself! Theresa with that CRUST ether on Jemmye ahha, that was cold bloooooooooooddddeeeddddd (Rick James voice.)

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Knight is the biggest frat boy man. He drinks alcohol out of random vases and shit. Like why do that if there are plastic cups around? What possesses someone to be like “lemme drink outta this vase over here”???? That is a typical frat boy move, he probably learned it at a drink wine out of a vase frat party back in school.

The Johnny screw job was so easy to see. They have no control over any of the other guy teams, Wes/CT are running those guys. The thing that will help Johnny and Frank out was the Jungle match up of two power houses. I will let you elaborate on how that went down and your thoughts behind that whole voting debacle.



Dante Dante

Wes is such a dick, but he is still the original mastermind of The Challenge. That scheme he hatched with Diem to target Leroy and Ty paid instant dividends. No way he could have expected those girls to vote as naively as they did. Theresa with some of the worst strategy this show has ever seen. I get it. Throw out the name of the guy you’re banging, and you don’t have to catch any heat from the team you would have otherwise voted in. You can’t just be dropping names like that. Votes are priceless on The Challenge. If you drop the name of the guy that you are protecting, all these other schemers are going to jump on that like a pack of hyenas.

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With Ty and Leroy getting voted in, we were set up for quite a matchup in the Jungle. Ty is notoriously Charmin soft, but when he was standing next to Thor I was thinking, “OK this is a size matchup that can give Zach some trouble.” I was hoping for a physical elimination challenge, but didn’t get one. Instead I got something better. Zach’s testosterone levels raging.



ShivamShiv

http://remotecontrol.mtv.com//wp-content/uploads/rc/2013/08/ZachTrey.gif

This GIF of Zach throwing his helmet is probably my vote for GIF of the year. Watching this live I completely lost my shit and was keeled over in laughter. He finished the Jungle and called everyone out in the stands mixed in with some f bombs. Then he rips his helmet off and launches it right at Jordan. I mean, you cannot fucking script shit like this. This is what makes the Challenge the best show on tv. Zach has NRFHL and this helmet toss is one reason why. I will elaborate this with a one time Sugar Shiv GIF breakdown:

Zach launches his helmet immediately after ripping it off of his head. Most people would fumble the transfer from head to hand in the quick motion that he did it in, but not only does he hold onto it, he throws it with enough velocity and arch that it is able to hit his target. His target, of course being the innocent bystanders watching him go ape shit, but there was one person who wasn’t watching at that exact moment. Lowly old Jordan had his head down for a split second to miss what was about to occur. Everyone moved out of the way that was within about 5 feet of the helmet in air. Diem shrieked in horror, hid her face, and turned her back to it. Paula Walnuts sidestepped out of the way with her hands in the air. Frank even moved out of the way and he wasn’t even close to it. Jordan somehow saw the helmet, midair, as he shifted his eyes back towards Zach and ducked his head, to let his back absorb the blow. This couldn’t have been played out better in Hollywood, Pixar, CGI, etc. It is so amazing that I spent 5 minutes looking at it for no reason. I even snapchat the GIF to people. I can’t get enough of it and I may or may have not bookmarked the page I found it on. If I am ever feeling down in the dumps I know what will bring a smile to my face. Thanks Zach and Jordan.

After Zach and Trey think they have won we were all expecting TJ to tell them that they killed it, but he didn’t say it. Instead they were DQ’d because Zach couldn’t control himself from turning into Meat Head Thor and did not follow the alternating rules in the tower of destruction or whatever the fuck it’s called. Ty and Lee were saved by pure aggression. It was like the equivalent to winning a game on a Hail Mary play and then getting it called back because a guy lined up offside. Side note, Leroy took the worst strategy in cutting the chain link fence. I do not need to elaborate on that, anyone with a brain would agree on that and probably said the same as they were watching it. Gotta give it up to Theresa for “giving it up” to Leroy when they got back to the house. Christ, that’s the least she could have done!!!!

Dante Dante

 Zach’s a fucking maniac.  There was a Goldberg-esque ”who’s next?!” call out in the middle of that freak out.  You gotta love his explanation for throwing the helmet: “Because they’re all a bunch of bitches.”  Brilliant.

 So many plot twists this week.  I hope you caught that midseason preview at the end of the After show.  There is even more drama about to pop off in the coming weeks.  I can’t wait for CT and Bananas to get into it.  That girl fight looked insane, and this CT/Diem love story is not done either.






Glossary of Terms:
GOAT – Greatest of all time
NRFHL – No Regard for Human Life
NRFHOL – No Regard for His/Her Own Life
Killed It – This is TJ Lavin (the hosts) favorite saying. If he says it, that means you either did really good in a competition (probably winning it) or an elimination challenge (ditto)

All photos courtesty of MTV.com and vemo.com. Thanks for the help.

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